a full day of disarray but i'm with you

“a full day of disarray but i’m with you...”

Scans are like taking the SAT or ACT for your actual life- with that passing grade equating to the sweet lemonade made from the lemons of fighting a life threatening disease. The stress of it all sucks- like going to the dentist for a full day (who really responds to the word ‘relax’ in that chair anyways?) We all have our routines both pre and post scans, and the ‘brief’ wait that feels like an eternity to consult the results with the doc. For me, it starts with a different visiting resident from anywhere in the world since my oncologist is credited with actually curing testicular cancer some 40+ years ago. No guarantees for my case- just a ridiculous amount of hope and optimism :) 

And despite the soreness from the tense muscles associated with my association to needles, and the metallic taste in my mouth from the IV contrast CT Scan, i got through it. I’m happy to share that I’m still doing better than when this all began. That’s right- I got the ‘all clear’ baby! Later this summer, I’ll be doing some additional immune system boosting treatments that will take me to year 4, with just 1 more year to go. 

For my time down at Indy, the best part of this full day of disarray is attending the monthly cancer support group meeting. Unfortunately, there was a record attendance showing this time around. We break out into separate groups like ‘living with cancer,’ ‘Art therapy,’ ‘supporting others,’ and more. This time around I participated in the ‘supporting others’ group. I was there to listen and learn new perspectives on how I can be a better friend and ultimately a better person. I know I don’t hold a candle to what some of those other fighters and caregivers go through. But what I can bring is a positive presence and, for some who ask, a genuine hug with a whispered phrase, ‘I’m with you...’